Dear Nephew

It has come to my attention that your recent accession to the state of fatherhood has, as I believe the uncouth term goes, left you dicked in the nob. Goodness gracious, it is bad enough that an Earl should stoop to be involved in his offspring’s care, but to be seen in public carrying the child—and mounted on horseback? What can you be thinking? 

Lady Babstock paid a morning call this morning precisely to elucidate the juicy tidbits of the tale, and crow, yes, crow, about ‘the illustrious Earl stooping to attend the needs of a child’, having heard the details from her sister, whom I gather intercepted your entourage in the middle of Markham yesterday. The impertinence of the woman was intolerable! If she were not married to a peer of the realm, you may be sure she would not have been admitted to this house. As it is, her snide remarks about your admirable domesticity quite ruined my appetite for luncheon.  

My dear Edward, I am aware that having two infants at once needs must require two pairs of hands; however one if not both of those pairs should belong to nursery staff and most certainly not to you. While it is perfectly natural for a woman to take an interest in the less salubrious care requirements of a babe-in-arms, one does not expect a male to share these undignified necessities. Indeed, it is most unhealthy! Pray, reconsider your approach before the Silchester name becomes a laughing stock and I am forced to take to my bed. 

Yours, in outrage,

Aunt Augusta